Friday, November 25

One day.

Just a warning.. I really don't feel like writing this in both languages, so English it is this time, so everyone would understand.. 

I just hate how everything can change in one day.. And in this case.. To a bad side.. If it even can have sides.. It seems that nothing actually happened.. I just had too much free time and too much freedom for my thoughts.. 

I should probably start from the beginning.. Well, not like from the very beginning.. But from somewhere where I left you this summer when I wrote my last blog.. 

The end of the summer was amazing.. I had such a great time.. Mostly at nights, when my three friends and I met and just did random stuff at my place or outside if it was warm enough.. It was probably the best time I had this summer. Loved every minute of it. However, all the time I was actually hoping to go back to London sooner.. Two months were great back home.. But after two months it started to feel too long of a visit.. It is true, that after you leave home for studies your home is no longer HOME. It's your parents home. 

I was really happy when I got back to London. Had whole month free here.. As I look back at it, I didn't do much, just enjoyed my time here.. The spirit of the city.. Then the studies started and I'm loving it so much this year! I can't believe how everything changed.. Well, I guess I just grew up in my head a bit. And realized what I want from life.. And that made me appreciate it. 

Then the bad stuff started happening.. I even was considering withdrawal from studies at one point.. Not like leaving uni, but more like gap month(s).. Thankfully is fine now and this thought is no longer in my head.. When I say bad stuff, it's mainly related to the place I lived in then and financial situation.. 

I live in a new place now. It's great, people are friendly, room is big, so I finally can keep my stuff out of bags.. The area around is very nice. Can't wait for the spring, the park should look amazing then. And it's huge! Financial situation is not perfect, but much better now.. I'm still looking for a job, at least for Christmas period, but it's okay now.. 

I'm actually feeling good in London this time. No homesick as it was last year.. In theory I have more friends in London now.. Last year Greta was here (she's now in Leeds and she's loving it) but I spend quite a lot of time with her.. We met a least once a week.. And now I have more friends living in London.. But I seem to meet them once a month.. All of them are busy.. And I just don't feel like being the one always offering to meet.. It's always nice to meet and talk for ages, but I somehow feel like I'm disturbing their lifes.

I'm learning to enjoy things alone. Going places alone.. Last week I went to a gig by myself.. That was a huge step for me.. For you it might seem like nothing.. Everybody had plans when I asked them to join me and I really wanted to go, so I went alone.. It was great. Such a warm gig, if warm is a right word to use here.. 

And today I decided to have a lazy day at home.. And that was a huge mistake.. Or, maybe, thinking was a mistake.. I realized that at the now I have two options in my life. Either to befriend loneliness, which I'm actually trying to run from OR to meet new people.. And as I said to my friend today:
But I seriously start to think that I have some mental problem.. And it has nothing to do with being shy as it first might seem.. But I seriously can't be the one that says hi first.. Like, really.. Even with Dom.. He said hi, when he saw me.. And I'm okay with talking to people even if I see them for the first time, I just literally can't be the one to start conversations.. Maybe I should make a sign that would say 'Hi.. I would like to talk to you, but I need YOU to say 'Hi' first..' and bring it everywhere with me..

The main reason why all this started is because Christmas is just around a corner... And all my friends are going home for holidays.. I'll be staying here. Few days ago I asked my brother how he spends Christmas here. He said his friends and he basically have three day party, but this year he doesn't know if he will be able to do that because of money.. I was hopping to go to Leeds to visit Greta, but she's going back to Lithuania as well. So no Christmas for me, I guess.. 

To be honest, I don't know how to end this blog now.. Maybe because I'm still thinking, even though I know it'll probably make things worst.. But.. 

I hope you all are okay and don't have troubles with problems like this.. 
Yours, Birut..

Wednesday, November 23

Sew.. sew.. Sewing.

Oj, žinau, kad velniškai vėluoju su šiuo įrašu (nes juk po galais, jau tuoj ruduo baigsis!), bet.. Tris savaites neturėtas internetas privertė sutvarkyt keletą užsigulėjusių reikalų. Vienas iš jų - vasaros siuviniai ^^ Taigi, šalia fotografijos mane gyvenime lydi ir siuvimas, deja, jis limituotas, nes Anglijoje siuvimo mašina džiaugtis negaliu, tad siuti gaunu tik Lietuvoje, kurioje prabuvau ir visą vasarą ((:

Oh,I know that I'm terribly late with this post (I mean, the winter is almost here!).. I didn't have internet for three weeks, therefore I managed to deal with some old work that I was meaning to deal with sooner or later, and so.. One of them - the stuff I made this summer. I love sewing nearly as much as I love photography, however I can't do it that often since I don't have a sewing machine here in UK.. 

Pirmasis/The first one:

Gimtadienio dovana draugei fotografei VA. Užtruko man gerą savaitę, bet rezultatas, kiek žinau, savininkę tenkina ((: Ir tai džiugina mane ((: Tiesa, pastaruoju metu nesidomėjau ar dar nesuplyšo, bet tikiuosi, kad viskas gerai ((:

A birthday gift for my former classmate and fellow photographer VA ((: It took me about a week to make, but as far as I know, she liked it and hopefully still does. And I'm happy about that! 

Antrasis/Second one:

Taip pat gimtadienio dovana, tik kitai draugei. Šiaip jau siūta kaip dekoratyvinė pagalvėlė, bet mano žiniomis, tūrėtų būti naudojama (nors nežinau ar išties naudojama) kaip adatinė ^^ Truputį nevykęs siūvinukas, broko nemažai, bet juk meilės negailėta ((:

Another birthday present, but for other friend of mine (: The idea of it was as a mini pillow, but the owner said  she's going to use it as a pincushion ^^ Not the best quality, but it sure doesn't lack the love I've put into it ((:

Trečias/ Third:

Priedas prie pagalvėlės, už broką ((: Siūta iš pagalvės užvalkalo, frazė 'People change. Now I'm a lamp post' rasta internete (: Norėjau, kad kvepėtų kava, todėl buvau pamerkus į puodą su kava, deja, kavos kvapas ilgai nesilaikė, tik berods pati medžiaga šiek tiek patamsėjo.

It was a bonus to a pillow for all spoilage (: I made it from the pillow case, found the phrase on internet, it says 'People change. Now I'm a lamp post'. I wanted it to smell as a coffee, so I boiled a pot of coffee and but the fabric into it. To my disappointment it didn't had the smell, but the fabric got slightly darker. 

Ir galiausiai ketvirtas/ And finally the foutyh one:

Oh, šitas tikriausiai iškankino labiausiai. Bet buvo verta (: Tai galima sakyt irgi buvo gimtadienio dovana, netiesioginė, tiesiog taip sutapo. Sean'as pats paprašė, žinojo kokių spalvų kamuolys bus, tik nemanė, kad padarysiu tikro dydžio. Nors galiausiai jis ir nėra ideliai apvalus esu labai patenkinta juo! (: 

Oh, this one was a tough one, but it was worth the hard work (: In a way it was a birthday present to Sean as well, though he just asked me to make a football ball, he chose colours himself. He just didn't knew how big it is going to be. Even though it's not a perfectly round I'm very proud of it ((:

Jau ilgiuosi siuvimo, bet negalėsiu juo džiaugtis dar ilgokai, nes nežinia kada vėl nuklysiu į gimtąją žemę. Iki tol teks gyvenimą pildyti fotografiją. Kuriai meilė grįžtą, kai rankose laikau Canon fotoaparatą, todėl nekantrauju savo Olympusą iškeist į Canon'ą greitu metu ((:

I miss sewing a lot, but who knows how long I'll have to wait till I'll be able to enjoy it again. I've no idea when I'm going back to Lithuania, so no idea when I'll be able to sew.. Untill then I'll have to fill my life with photography. And speaking of photography, I love it more when I'm holding Canon in my hands, so I can't wait to replace my old Olympus with Canon soon ((: 

Iki greito susirašymo, keksiukai. Viliuosi šį kartą ne tokiam ilgam laikui palieku jus. Jūsų, Birut ^^
Bye for now, cupcakes! I just hope it won't take me this long this time. Yours, Birut ^^